Boys, Relationships, "Talking"...and School

There's so many questions and thoughts but I don't know what you feel or how I should feel. We're still at square one and I don't know how to move past it. Just say how you feel and be serious with me. I don't wanna put pressure on you and ruing what could be a good friendship but I don't wanna waste this. 

I remember how I had this fantasy of what high school should be.

And that fantasy has failed miserably. I also dreamed of meeting a guy who wasn't crap and just enjoying high school. I have meet many guys and it's gone nowhere. It's like all the guys I'm attracted to are nowhere to be found. I'm just sitting around like a lonely potato. But, you get over it. You find a way to get over it and move on. 

BOYS BOYS BOYS

Ugh, Boys. Amazing but often confusing. I'm talking to a new boy now and I just feel so awkward. Like, I'm awesome at helping my friends talk to guys but when I talk to them it's like, "OHMYLORD WHAT SHOULD I SAY NEXT!" It's so nerve racking. And in the back of my mind I keep thinking, what if he finds someone prettier, thinner, or even just overall better. But at the same time, it's just a boy. Life will go on and I'll meet more but, this is just such a conflicting situation.

P.S. I've lost 12  pounds (: