Not so much resolutions.

Since the new year is coming, many people are making their resolutions. I don't really like to make resolutions. There are things that I will always continuously need to work on and I'm going to work on that from now until the day I die. Therefore, I don't confine things changes to one year (a bit hipsteresque, i know). Despite my lack off resolutions, there are a few things I want to especially focus on. For one,
I want to lose at last 30 pounds before the summer. I had began working out last year but, I've hit a plateau  I lost a relatively nice amount of weight. However, I haven't worked out in over a month and probably won't have a chance to until February. Therefore, I'm gonna have to work twice as hard to lose the initial weight plus any weight I've gained. I'm gonna have to put a greater focus on eating better and working out more. By eating better I mean actually eating instead of skipping meals because they're terrible. An even bigger focus is maintaining my GPA and grades. I know there are certain areas I need to work on academically and my goal is to improve in these areas to the best of my ability. (I also need to take my SAT which I'm not necessarily looking forward to). As for relationships, there is minimal focus on this area. If I meet someone, that's awesome. If I don't, even more awesome. This year, I've had very few "relationships" and they've ended on pretty jank notes. Therefore, the mature members of the male species will just have to search me out. I will NOT be searching for them. My greatest goal is just to continue to better myself mentally and emotionally. I've made great strides since forever ago but there are still things I want to adjust about myself. Thankfully, I have an open-mind so I continue to remain open to new ways to improve myself. Ultimately  this year is going to be what I make it. Alongside my friends, I plan on making this year excellent. 

Going Back

Although I could care less about having to go to school; I'm excited that I can go back and continue with my workout routine. Unfortunately, I gained weight while on break but that just means more work. I refuse to slack off. I'm tired of waking up and not liking what I see. I WILL stay motivated and I will reach my goal.

Another reason I don't want to go back is because I just don't want to have to deal with the annoying people at my school and all of the drama i'm sure will be raging. Oh the perks of an all girls school. But at the end of the day, I'm done with the drama so I could care less. I'm so done with being "nice" at this point anyone who has ever done me dirty is now off my line of communication. I don't need it and I don't care. I'd rather be happy and me and have a bunch of annoying girls dislike me then try to win approval from a bunch of people who don't care about me or make a difference in my life. I'm beyond done with the crap at this point. 

Sometimes

I think that maybe I should change my ways. But then I began to think why? Who am I changing for and why? Why should I change for people who don't matter and/or don't care about me? If I'm going to change it's going to be for myself. I know my flaw and faults and I work on them but I won't do anything I feel in my heart that I should do.

But I feel like I have changed and I don't know if it's for the better or the worst. Or maybe I haven't changed. I'm still me but I'm only letting a certain side of me be shown. I try to show all my colors and who I am but I don't know if it's going so well.

I've got a lot of thinking and self evaluating to do.