A wandering Mind,

Can be a dangerous thing. It is the #1 enemy of a good night's rest. For hours, I lay in my bed trying my hardest to sleep. Unfortunately, my brain has other ideas. Instead of sleeping, I'm up wandering about life. The good, the bad, and everything else in between. It thrills and terrifies me to no end. I come to crossroads and make important life decisions, while simultaneously drowning in anxiety because of things I have no control over. The brain is a beautiful, complicated, torturous things. I'd love to write a lengthier (and way more eloquently written) post, but I can't summon the power to do so. And to make things worse, I have to be up in a few hours to start off a very busy day. 

Living in Slowmo

I feel like I'm the odd one out. It's like all the people around me are enjoying their lives and mine isn't going anywhere. I thought I'd be doing much greater things, but I'm not. I want exciting, new things to happen and I want to make it happen, but I don't know how to go about that and I don't know the people to help me do that. Everything I planned on this summer being has just, gone down the drain. It's really starting to get to me and upset me. The more I think about things, the more unhappy I become. But it's hard not to think about things when you're stuck inside all day with nothing to do but think. 

Some people just don't get it.

Don't say you understand how I feel, when you don't. Don't say you're gonna help and then don't. Because what's important to me, is not important to you. I don't mess with things that are important to other people. Clearly you don't get it like you thought you did. Don't like, don't pretend...just don't. 

Of Insomnia

So, I kinda sorta have insomnia. But it's not severe so I refuse to talk to anyone about it. Besides, I realize the source of it, I just can't fix it. I always worry about thing before I sleep. All surrounding my uncertainties in life, especially with being good enough. It's distressing, but I contain it well. It's also probable that if j actually talked to someone about things it wouldn't be as bad. But I'd much rather internalize everything and solve it all myself. (Which hasn't gotten me very far.) 

Does hard work always pay off?

So, the academic year is coming to an end and there are so many things I feel like I have either failed at or just didn't fully accomplish. I've been thinking a lot lately about how "hard work pays off". Let's be honest, hard work is important and hard work doesn't guarantee anything in life. Nothing does. It just feels like there are so many things I've tried to accomplish but I literally canNOT reach them. The more I think about schools, college,  and everything else; the angstier I become. 

Outfits from the past two days

The weather's been weird, but my outfits have been nice.

1 week in

Been back at school and so far everything's been going well. I've been doing pretty rad in my classes , but then again, there isn't much to go off of since we just started. Fortunately, I've been able to manage some free time, workouts, and homework. I've also noticed an improvement in my skin since I've come back to my beautiful, Southern climate. However, I know last week and this week will be the busiest this quarter. However, I'm not one to stress so I'll just take it all in stride. I've got too much going on to stop and be stressed. But yeah, this is just a nice little update.